F is for Failure

What is failure? The idea that as an educator we have failed at our job is a difficult to digest. It is a heavy burden to think that the information we are giving could do more harm or that we, by not containing a conversation gone awry or addressing problematic things that happen in our educational spaces that we have harmed the very people we are trying to help. Talking about health is personal not only to the people we are educating but also to ourselves. We are often talking about subjects that are our lived experiences. This is how it should be; we should be intimately connected to the topics we are education about, however this vulnerability leaves room for the crash. This crash is the devastated feeling that creeps in when a presentation gets away from us. When no one shows up or when there’s that one dude who thinks what you’re presenting is useless and spends all of their energy derailing the conversation. The moments after these failures are significant. It is in these moments we feel most vulnerable about what we do, how we do it, why we do it. It is in these moments that we feel like maybe this isn’t for us, that this is too hard or that it would be awesome to never have to explain to another douchebag what a dental dam is for. It is also in these moments that we have the opportunity to learn the most about the importance of what we do, we are exposed and vulnerable. It isn’t the time for extensive reflection about what went wrong but instead is the time where we need to take a moment to be compassionate with ourselves. This compassion presents itself in many ways, finding someone to vent to, getting a hug, eating some chocolate, breathing through the pain and the frustration. Tomorrow we can gain a little distance and try to evaluate, right now we need to survive and depend on our community of fellow educators to help us work on our self-care. It is through these moments of shared vulnerability and compassion that we make real connection to each other as educators and also to the material we are presenting. You will be a better educator having failed.